Saturday, 15 July 2017

Highway to the burnout zone! (written July 2016)

Wow! I found this little ditty whilst I was looking at my drafts. Upon reading it again, I feel it is still relevant although I know this was properly meant for my eyes only. But upon reflection and in the spirit of professional openness I do feel its important to share your lows and your highs.


So aside from the corny title (couldn't resist!) it's time to reflect on the balance... specifically the life balance.

Bluntly put I'm there! I'm the Mayor of Burnout city. I am so tired... Trust me this no exaggeration. I have been going for years now with nearly no complaints but last week was by far the most terrifyingly testing. I had been off sick a couple weeks ago, so bad in fact that I was sent home! I know when does that ever happen. But to be honest I haven't ever really fully recovered. I came back on the edge and when the computer melted into itself I was so done! It's funny where each our limits are but that was it for me. Add into the mix, countless outside agencies and people observing I was begging for this holiday.

Now to be fully objective I have a incredible class, with a superb Teaching Assistant and I work with some amazing people. However, this job plays on my both my best and worst traits, habits and nuances. Before getting into teaching or even if you are in teaching already I think it's important to analyse yourself to pick out where it may unravel. Now it is not easy. A bit like assessing what makes the economy tick, you never can completely know every action that contributes to the end. But you need to give it a go to avoid that perfect storm and stay in calm waters. So here is my analysis....

Firstly, I am for all intense purposes completely obsessive which can lead to some cool results but with a job like a teacher things are never going to be finished and fantastic. In fact if you are to believe the government and SLT's everywhere you are never good enough. Needless to say, I find this very hard to take.... To find out that the outstanding I so longingly strive for in an observation is now irrelevant in the new Conservative age of education is, to say the very least, soul destroying. This feels awfully like you fail every time you get observed.

Secondly, I am in my working life a yes person. I say yes to everything and sometimes you just have to say no I can't do that. I have unfortunately failed at that. But I know there has to be a line!!! I love to be a positive person but no just seems negative. However, if you really can't get it done an apology and a politely worded no is the better alternative than semi sobbing into a cold cup of tea on a Wednesday break time.

Finally, I love the way things look! This always always always means more work. Whether it's a creative title for a wall or beautiful resource for the children to use. Even those little progress bars for the children have to be highlight blue!!! But this is my flaw because it drives me up the wall.

The moral of my little story is to stay strong by finding your weakness. If there is any advice I can give any PGCE or NQTs out there is don't do it my way.

Keep well!